


What It Means

by destieldrabblesdaily



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1969029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destieldrabblesdaily/pseuds/destieldrabblesdaily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's roommate and best friend Castiel always says 'I love you' to him every night before they go to sleep. Seeing as Dean has some serious feelings for his friend, he can't take the confusion any longer and one night asks Cas what it means when he says 'I love you'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What It Means

“Night Cas, sweet dreams.” Dean said quietly as he turned off the lamp on the nightstand.

“Good night, Dean…” Came the sleepy reply from the other bed in the now very dark room. “ _Love you…_ ”

Dean’s heart was happily swelling in his chest, the way it always did when his roommate said those words right before they went to sleep. Castiel had been doing this for months now, but Dean still hadn’t gotten used to it. And sure, he knew that it was _ridiculous_ to get _that_ excited about it, because Cas obviously didn’t mean _that_ kind of love. Still, the mere sound of it made Dean’s imagination run wild…

They’d been sharing a room for nearly two years now, and they’d become very close friends. And so Cas probably meant the _friendly_ kind of love, because that was the only thing that made sense to Dean. To be fair, Cas didn’t have the best social skills, and Dean suspected that he was simply a bit clueless when it came to the differences between being friends, and being ‘something more’.

Castiel liked to snuggle close to Dean whenever they were watching TV on the old shabby couch in their undersized room. Sometimes when Cas was tired, he would even place a pillow on Dean’s lap and rest his head there, making himself comfortable. Whenever that happened, Dean often caught himself absentmindedly playing with Cas’ hair while he watched TV, but Cas never complained. Cas liked to eat food from the same plate as Dean. Cas liked to hug Dean at random moments when they were not at all in any situation that called for physical contact. Castiel made coffee for Dean in the morning, just the way Dean liked it.

It were all of these little things that seemed horribly ‘couple-y’, but were probably just a way for Cas to express his affection towards his best friend. And Dean had no objections whatsoever, because he secretly _liked_ doing these things with Castiel. Dean had given up on ignoring his own feelings weeks ago, and he was slowly starting to accept that he was falling in love with Cas. The only problem was that it was agonizing to hear Castiel say the words ‘I love you’, since Dean was ninety-nine percent sure that it was not the kind of love that Dean craved it to be. Which was also the reason Dean _never_ said it back; he didn’t want to say it when it didn’t mean to Cas what it meant to him. Although sometimes, Dean had his doubts. Like tonight…

Lately Dean had been paying more and more attention to how Cas acted with _other_ people. Like for example today. Cas had invited his classmate Charlie over so that she could help him with his essay, and afterwards she had stayed for dinner. Charlie was funny, friendly, and Dean had instantly taken a liking to her. Cas seemed to be on very good terms with her as well, but as Dean observed them, he had noticed that Castiel’s behavior around Charlie did not in any way resemble the way he acted around Dean. He acted with Charlie the way you were _supposed_ to act with a good friend, which had to mean that Cas _did_ know what the proper etiquette was.

And Dean was tired of it. Tired of guessing. Tired of feeling insecure. Tired of hearing Castiel’s ‘I love you’s every night, and not knowing what it meant. And above all; tired of lying awake every single night _because_ of those crucial words.

“Cas?” Dean called.

No response.

“Cas, you asleep?” Dean tried again.

A vague grumbling noise.

Dean knew that maybe now wasn’t the time, but he needed to do this before he chickened out again. He turned the light back on and slipped out of his bed. He hesitantly made his way over to Castiel’s bed, sitting down on the very edge.

“Cas?” He said, placing a hand on Cas’ shoulder. Castiel’s face was buried in a pillow, but at Dean’s touch he rolled over and peeked up at his friend.

“What’s… going on?” He asked in a slurry voice. “Are you alright, Dean?”

“Yeah… Yeah, I’m good, Cas.” Dean said, tiredly rubbing his face. “I just… I was just wondering if I can _ask_ you something? I know it’s late, but it’s pretty important…”

Cas yawned and nodded while slowly sitting up. “Of course, anything you want.”

Dean had to stop himself from smiling at Castiel’s messy bedhead hair, and the sleepy blue eyes that were narrowed to slits.

“So… What do you want to ask?” Cas questioned.

Ironically, Cas reached for one of Dean’s hands that had been resting on the bed, and intertwined their fingers. Dean glanced down at their joined hands.

“Actually…” Dean began as he lifted their hands. “ _This_ is what I want to talk about…”

Cas frowned at their hands. “I’m not quite following, Dean.”

Dean sighed, knowing that he was going to have to spell it out for his friend. “Cas… What do you mean when you say ‘I love you’?”

Castiel blinked at Dean. Their faces were close, closer than a conversation between friends demanded.

“Well… I guess it sort of speaks for itself, doesn’t it?” Cas asked, the corners of his mouth slightly turning up into a  half smile.

“Actually, no it doesn’t.” Dean disagreed. “That’s why I am _asking_.”

“Alright then…” Castiel tilted his head at Dean in that adorable way that was typically Cas. “When I say I love you, I mean that _I love you_.” He said, making it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Dean rolled his eyes. “No shit, Sherlock… Cas, you can’t just go around and tell people that you _love them.”_

“Why not?” Cas countered, his big blue eyes scrutinizing Dean’s face. “Life’s too short to not tell the truth, don’t you think?”

Dean let another exaggerated sigh escape. “Look, I get it man, this is your way of showing me that you care, and that we’re good buddies, but you’re making it sound like… Like it’s _love_ -love. And it’s confusing the hell out of me.”

And then Castiel simply smiled, his unoccupied hand reaching up to lovingly stroke through Dean’s hair. “But it _is_ love-love, Dean… At least for me it is.”

Dean could feel his jaw drop and his eyes widening. _‘It is love-love’,_ Cas had said. Cas loved him. Really loved him. Not as a friend. He actually _loved_ Dean. Dean needed a second to let that sink in.

“My apologies… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I don’t want this to come between us…” The sound of Cas’ rather sad voice was Dean’s wakeup call.

“No!” Dean was quick to exclaim, his eyes never leaving Castiel’s. “No Cas, you’re right… Life’s too short to not tell the truth.”

Cas’ brow furrowed in concentration, and it almost looked as if he was trying to read Dean’s mind. “And what is _your_ truth, Dean?”

This time, Dean was the one smiling. “For me it’s _love-love_ , too.” He simply answered, giving Castiel’s hand a solid squeeze.

Castiel’s answering smile was brighter than anything Dean could remember ever seeing in his life.

Dean’s brain quickly did the math, and came to the conclusion that when it was _love-love_ from both sides, kissing was allowed. And so, kissing ensued. Lots of it. As well as cuddling. As well as eventually falling asleep together on Castiel’s bed, Dean’s arms tightly wrapped around his best friend’s warm body.

Dean was sure he heard Castiel utter “I love you” before they both drifted off, and for the first time since Cas had started using the term months ago, Dean whispered a soft ‘ _I love you’_ back. 

**Author's Note:**

> For more Destiel stories, follow destieldrabblesdaily.tumblr.com


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